Valentine was born in a small town, and he lives in a small town.
Small-Town Dad is Val’s way of chronicling his many fatherhood misadventures so that one day, when his kids are older, he can show them all the crap he had to put up with. It’s also a place for him to write about just about anything else he feels like. It’s his blog, after all.
In addition to writing, Val can whistle and hum at the same time.
Val’s first published story was “Dinosaur Island” (Sts. Peter & Paul Press, 1983)
His first book, Cageball, Poker, and the Atomic Wedgie (2003) received raved reviews from some of his family members and a couple other people he knows. Recently he revised it, and you can now download the free PDF ebook.
His interests include but are not limited to dinosaurs, trains, cryptozoology, and the Civil War (not necessarily in that order).
He loves karaoke, and if given enough red wine, he can do all five voices of the Temptations.
He also secretly fantasizes about being called up on stage to fill in for Emily Saliers when she is suddenly unable to perform.
In his prime, he was uncoverable in pick-up football. (Can still hold his own.)
He used to have two separate and distinct voices before discovering that he was a freak.
His blood type is coffee.
He does a killer Elmo and a decent Grover/Yoda.
He also likes writing about local history. He wrote a history of his church called The History of Sts. Peter & Paul Parish, and a narrative history of his father’s hometown, called Bridgewater: A Narrative History of a Pennsylvania River Town. He’s even written a history on a local train bridge (yes, a train bridge), which you can pick up at the Beaver Area Heritage Foundation museum, if you’re interested.
He is incapable of burping.
Favorite book: A Walk in the Woods (Bill Bryson)
Favorite TV show: (classic) “The Andy Griffith Show”; (modern) “Finding Bigfoot”
Favorite song (right now): “Waiting for My Real Life to Begin” (Colin Hay)
Favorite movie: “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981)
He also has his own publishing company and is available for hire as a ghostwriter.
He believes that he lived a past life in the 1800s, most likely as a railroad worker.
He is a past president of Tequila Club (1996-97).
He once touched Michael Jordan on the shoulder and said, “Hey, Mike.” (True story.)
Val would love to hear from you. Please contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.