July 25, 2018
No changing diapers. No gaiting stairs. No baby-proofing the house. No fighting over cell phones. No asking if they can borrow the car. No staying up late worrying about where they are or what they’re doing. In the world of parenting, you might say we’re right smack in the eye of the hurricane. Ten years into the…
April 30, 2018
Lately The Animal’s been playing his Xbox a little too much, and I figured a little father-and-son time might be in order. So the other day after school we jumped in the car and headed to…the arcade! To be specific, we went to Pinball PA in Hopewell. I’ve been wanting to check out this place…
April 16, 2018
When I awoke on Sunday, if you’d have told me that by mid-afternoon I’d be holding a gun to my wife while watching someone perform First Aid on a snake, I would’ve said you were crazy. Then I would’ve asked what the heck you were doing in my bed. The day actually started off pretty…
February 8, 2018
Sometimes in life bad ideas seem to fall right out of the sky, like frozen blue poo from an overpassing jetliner. “Let’s go visit my sister and the girls for New Year’s,” I said to my wife one evening after one-too-many glasses of red wine. “It’ll be so much fun!” They’re not kidding when…
February 6, 2018
“Who wants to go the grocery store with Daddy?!” I asked my kids, who responded in unison, “Not me!” But then when I added, “Whoever comes with me gets to get a toy out of the machine on the way out!”, both quickly changed their response and made a beeline to the car. I’m referring, of course, to those…
January 19, 2018
It was cold yesterday. So cold that I had on two sweaters, with another layer underneath, plus a tossle cap (For those of you who don’t know, that’s Western PA lingo for a winter hat.) I also had on long underwear beneath my pants and a pair of super-thick wool socks. Yet despite all that, I was…
November 15, 2017
Back in May of 1985 I was still just a kid and easily frightened by thunderstorms. So on the afternoon of the 31st, when I was out playing with my friends and the skies turned an sinister yellow and green, I jumped on my BMX and pedaled home as fast as I could. My fear only amplified at home, when…
November 9, 2017
I’ve always thought of myself as an old soul. But, geez, I figured I at least had a couple decades until my body caught up with my psyche. Apparently not. Yesterday I injured myself opening the dishwasher. Yes, the dishwasher. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what happened. All I know is, I walked into the kitchen…
November 1, 2017
Recently my daughter, aka Boogieface, turned 10. As I’m sure you can imagine, this threw me into a bit of a panic. We’re talking The Big One-O here. Double digits. It won’t be long now before that second digit turns into a three and, well, we all know what happens then. Heaven help me. So that…
October 12, 2017
Imagine having a goose for a pet. A Canadian goose. But not just any old Canadian goose. A hyperactive, disturbingly loud, never-tired-of-honking Canadian goose. Now strap a siren to the goose. A siren that never stops wailing, day or night. And make sure it’s loud. So loud that it rattles your eardrums no matter how far…
