March 23, 2017
Of all the great mysteries of the universe — dark matter, black holes, the allure of daytime television, etc. — two in particular have me utterly perplexed: Minecraft and Pokémon. It all began when my son, aka The Animal, went to school with a $15 Minecraft action figure and then came home instead with four beat-up old Pokémon cards…
March 16, 2017
Warmth. That’s all I wanted from my vacation. Sure, as winters go, this one’s been relatively mild. But when you live in an old house like mine — one with zero insulation, and in which you have to wear a tossle cap and at least three layers of wool daily beginning in November — come March you’d give your…
March 2, 2017
For anyone who might be interested, here’s a brief recap of my recent experience as a chaperone for my son’s first grade class on their field trip to see Disney on Ice: 8:05 a.m. — I don’t actually need to be at the school until 8:15, but I figured I’d just stick around after…
February 10, 2017
I have come here today to make a declaration: I’m officially off typewriters. (Pretty sure I’m the first person in the history of words to pen that phrase.) That’s right, I’ve got a whole new passion now: vinyl. Don’t get me wrong, I still love typewriters and always will. But, to my wife’s delight…
February 7, 2017
So it’s Super Bowl Sunday and the fam and I, as is our annual tradition, are chillin’ (more like boiling) in our friends’ hot tub before the big game. Now, my wife, Boogieface, and I all understand and appreciate the true purpose of a hot tub: relaxation. The Animal, however, sees it as his very own private mini swimming…
January 31, 2017
Previously I’ve written about some of the crazier coincidences I’ve had over the years. But this one might just take the cake. It happened the other night, just as I was tucking the kiddos into bed. Both claimed that they “weren’t tired” (big surprise), and Boogieface asked if she could read her brother a book before they…
January 30, 2017
Chinese water torture. That’s the most accurate way I can describe what it’s like having two, sometimes three kids, fresh out of school, all hopped up after sitting in class all day, coming home and invading what for the previous seven hours had been a quiet, peaceful sanctuary. It’s actually kind of nice, at first, to see…
January 26, 2017
So I’m sitting here in the café, trying to write something, anything. But it’s not going very well. I came in a little while ago and plopped down in my favorite seat right by the window. That’s when I first noticed the young couple next to me—he, looking uncomfortable in his business suit, and she, clearly…
January 24, 2017
It seems nowadays everyone’s talking about mindfulness and being “in the moment.” We’re so distracted anymore and our lives are so hectic that we’re not paying attention to the here and now. Instead, we’re too busy checking our Facebook to see if anyone “liked” the picture we posted of our eggplant parmesan at dinner last night…
January 19, 2017
OK…something’s come up that I just can’t keep quiet about anymore… The other day a friend of mine was out and about and overheard someone talking bad about me and my family. Apparently the man said, and I quote: “They’re all just living off of Amber’s millions!” Amber, for those of you don’t know…
