If anyone’s looking for me, I’ll be here. The first eight years of parenthood were tough. It seemed like I’d never get to a point where I wasn’t helping my kids do something.  Then just like that it got easier. Suddenly they could get their own cereal. They could bathe themselves. Dress themselves. Clean up…

“Daddy, I can’t find my Raggies!” My heart sunk as soon as she said it. We were on vacation in New Hampshire, and Boogieface was getting ready to go to bed when she realized her beloved ‘Raggies’ — a pair of old burp cloths she sleeps with every night — were missing. Immediately I began searching high and low for…

So my dad calls me on Thursday evening. “I’m going to get some Oram’s cinnamon rolls tomorrow morning,” he says. “You want me to get you some?” Every once in a while my dad drives to Beaver Falls early in the morning to pick up a box of Oram’s legendary pastries, which he then passes out to…

It was Saturday afternoon and the second day of the annual Pennsylvania Bigfoot Camping Adventure at Benner’s Meadow Run Camping and Cabins in Farmington, Pa. For a full day, my daughter and I had been camping out and enjoying the various speakers and vendors, all centered around the legendary hairy man of the woods.  Not that I believe in…

Five years ago today, I walked away from the highest paying job I’ve ever had. And a company-match retirement plan. And a comprehensive health care plan. And a guaranteed monthly paycheck.  No, I didn’t have a massive head injury. I just wanted to take a shot at freelance writing. In the years since, I’ve never…

“After nine miserable years, we finally get a new couch!” We were enjoying a late lunch at Athens Family Restaurant in Beaver Falls when The Animal made this pronouncement. I mean, my wife and I knew our old couch had seen better days, but it was news to us both that our son had been so miserable his entire life…

I don’t like dancing. Don’t get me wrong, I got rhythm. When a song comes on with a good beat, I can tap my foot just as good as the next guy. Just don’t ask me to dance.  Unless, that is, you’re my daughter. I don’t know when it all started, but whenever the radio…

I remember when we actually used to dine at this dining room table. Sweet mid-January! Oh, how I adore you! Your, bleak, gray, frigid days notwithstanding. It’s a small price to pay for not having to worry about any more BLEEP-ing presents. From the day after Thanksgiving until my son’s birthday in early January, it seems…

My garage is a heavily armed military base for repelling an attacking enemy-droid army. My parked pickup truck is a troop transport on some days, on others it’s an inter-galactic spaceship. My entire yard, in fact, is a battleground for Nerf-gun-armed zombie killers and light-saber wielding Jedi. Such is life when your property is…

When your kids are still pretty young, it’s easy to convince them of crazy things. Things like fairies exist. Or that an enormous bunny sneaks into their house overnight and leaves them plastic eggs filled with candy. Or that an overly jolly and slightly rotund old man with a long white beard can somehow squeeze down the way-too…