I knew there was going to be trouble right from the start. “Is this fish or chicken?” asked The Animal, as my wife placed the blue Pyrex on the table. Uh-oh. “It’s chicken,” replied my wife. “It doesn’t look like chicken,” Boogieface chimed in. The chicken had paprika on it—a foreign…(Read More)
It all started with my good friend Hugh, who’s been riding motorcycles for years. “You need to get a bike,” he said. Over and over again. Countless hours watching “American Pickers” and seeing Mike and Frank drool over rusty old Chiefs and Knuckleheads only further piqued my interest. Then, one night whilst imbibing a…(Read More)
When we first decided to cancel our cable subscription, reactions varied. But most were that of shock. “You did what?!” exclaimed my dad, staring at me as if I’d just told him I’d gotten a bikini wax. My mom was just plain disturbed. “I don’t understand,” she said, dumbfounded. “Why? Why would…(Read More)
It was the middle of the night when my wife’s screams roused me from a Cabernet-induced slumber. “It’s attacking me! It’s attacking me!” We were sharing a sectional couch at her cousin’s house in Boston during a short break in our two-week, whirlwind tour of New England. At first…(Read More)
Thirteen days. Nine states. Two kids. One car. From June 7 to June 20, my wife and I, along with our two children, embarked on a Griswold-ian adventure as we toured in the not-so-cozy confines of my Hyundai Sonata. Considering we’ve never spent more than a couple hours in the car…(Read More)
My back and neck had been killing me again, so I decided to visit the chiropractor just down the street to see if he could release some of the tension. After a quick adjustment, they ushered me into another room to have me sit in their massage chair for a while. Of course, I had…(Read More)
I thought about recounting in detail everything that’s happened over the past six days, when my sister, brother-in-law, and their four young daughters came in from out of town and stayed with us. But honestly, it was pretty much all one big, chaotic blur. And, besides, I’m just too tired. Instead…(Read More)
So, I went to a Bigfoot conference this past weekend. Why would anyone do such a thing, you ask? Well, for one, I’ve always been interested in the unknown—Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, U.F.O.’s, the appeal of daytime television, etc. Plus, I was drinking wine and surfing the net one…(Read More)
Looking up the path, I could see the beast staring down at me, saliva dripping from his mouth. Just moments earlier I had left my house to begin my weekly long run. The plan was to head out Dutch Ridge Road into Brighton Township. I didn’t want to risk the busy main hill, however…(Read More)
I really didn’t want to write another one of those cliché-ridden blog posts about turning 40. You know the kind I’m talking about. The ones that claim how “40 is the new 30,” or that 40 really isn’t that old after all. No, it’s not. And, yes, it is. Honestly…(Read More)